And to yon pearly gates one may enter, but only upon writing one's name
I always like to give JvJ subscribers the first go at any great deals I know of. Here’s a sundry of items I’m giving away or selling as I make my big move to the other side of town.
Big Couch
Little Couch
Drum Set
While the items themselves are timelessly stylish and much coveted, it seems the descriptions have tripped up some of the craigslist freeclub members.
Responding to this ad, one lady wrote: “We’re all adults. Is it only for kids?” Apparently reading is not one of her favorite scholastic exercises. I wrote her back and explained the couch was actually an airplane and would better suit a skilled pilot.
Responding to this ad, a lady requested the couch be hers but not the throw pillow on the right. Free isn’t negotiable in my book, so I replied rather curtly, “Sorry, pillow is attached to couch emotionally. Must be love.” I haven’t heard back yet.
Ah, my poor drum set, soon to be bludgeoned and clumsily buffeted by some adolescent heathen. I threw in the MC Hammer reference to dissuade the younger, less-skilled generation. One guy simply wrote, “I met MC Hammer a long time ago,” but didn’t express any interest in the set. Why bother emailing me that? I responded, against my better judgment, “I have MC Hammer in my closet. He’s yours if you buy the drums.”
A shift in gears: when posting the ads, I got the computer-generated word set that vetted whether I was a human or a bot. Though I’d rather be the latter, I usually play along with this game. Holy dogshit, Batman. Look at this rather foreboding message. Cleveland, my home, my mistake on the lake – repent, for judgment day is coming!!?!!
Can’t read – then get up in its face:
