Eagle, Atomic Number 62
Holy batshit, batman. This just released: a periodic table of awesoments.
It’s a good thing that we’ve been fortuitously showered with such informations/knowledges, as my perspective on awesome had been slipping recently. Why, just the other day I saw a traffic jam and yelled, “AWESOME!” The traffic nor the jam were awesome, and I was, of course, gravely mistaken.
Indubitably, it was a time for an awesomeness correction. Thank goodness for this mustache-addled website. Thank goodness for this revamping of the periodic table.
By the new PT (Periodic Table or Party Time – your choice) below, it appears that what were once alkali metals are now men of the silver screen, men who have long used their awesomeness to defeat maximum evil – or as I like to call it, “evil supreme.”
The noble gasses – inert by their very nature – are now entirely sneaky warriors, from ninjas to wizards. The other non-metals remind you of the finer things in life (sausage, pirates, etc.), while the transition metals declare what none of us need, but all of us what (swords, moon jumps, etc.).
Anyway, if you’ve got a little downtime, click on the link below, pop a boner, and get to studying. Mr. Free Radical, the new chemistry teacher, will be giving you an exam at 9:30 tomorrow morning. It will consist of trivia about superheroes and beer. It will be awesome.
