Snaggle Teeth Welcome
Most of this is out of context, but a friend and I are starting to script a new show that’s about a failing start-up company, we basically get huge venture investments and blow them on stupid things, here’s a list of ideas we want to incorporate into a pilot somehow, let me know which ones you find funny or interesting,
*Ideas Can Be Posted Below*
Date 2/26/08
1) Lacing food with other food
2) Me and JC were at lunch and a friend of mine that didn’t know JC walks up and says “Hey Jason” I said “Hey what’s up, this is JC” and my friend goes “Oh Does he work for you?” and I laughed and said “No he works at red hat too”. Then after my friend left, JC goes “You shoulda said I was your boss, and that I was loaded, and that I probablly could have had you killed for just saying that”
3) Working out to get ladies; photoshopping pictures of ourselves to look more defined. Montage of working out and taking breaks to eat raw eggs and other weird shit
4) We are selling softwares and have to define what region a company is in and Greg says to Chris “Hey Chris how would you classify the YMCA…. OTHER than the place you go to pick up girls”, and Chris goes you just earned another star, and I look over and chris has an entire system written out on his whiteboard, and once greg reaches 5 stars (one for each time he’s an ass) chris stops talking and acknoledging him for the rest of the day.
5) Greg just got a Sweet and Salty nuts bar, and he goes ‘Why does this candy taste like a locker room” haha.
6) Greg told us about the time he was dropping a duece at General Electric when he worked there, he
fell asleep on the toilet, a hour later when he woke up and tried to stand up he realized his legs and fallen asleep so he looked like a parapalegic falling out of a wheel chair.
7) When we were in NYC some lady hit [Mueller’s] leg and he said, “don’t worry, it’s not a real leg” and then limped off
8) “Dad just hit mom” awkward
9) Snapping off beat to songs
10) Jason and two partners are doing a presentation for class. Each group member must present for three minutes. Jason decides he will tell only jokes for his three minutes.
11) Matt and Jason get a pet - Colonel Driftwood, Detective Tumbleweed, Sergeant PetStain
12) Matt and Jason start a gang whose only crime is some serious jay-walking
13) Real World/The Office break room one-on-one’s with the camera-explain jokes
14) Episode 1 - Jason and Matt discuss the troubles associated with a long distance friendship, and how maybe it just isn’t working out
15) Either Jason or Matt goes temporarily insane
16) Matt or Jason is addicted to something stupid (Surge / Facebook) - We could incorporate the food being laced with caramel etc into this episode?
17) Matt and Jason own a terribly failing start-up company who try to build up morale by spending the little revenue they have on awards for employees
18) Matt and Jason fear their house/apartment is haunted
19) Matt or Jason tries out a new look (Gothic, Preppy, etc…)
20) Matt and Jason are discussing some important plans for the day one morning while taking shots between sentences (like it’s nothing). Next shot: Matt and Jason passed out.
21) Either Matt or Jason only pays for things with Sacajawias (sp, definitely)
22) Jason talks about an “elevator pitch” gone awry and then we see a flashback - Jason in an elevator with an important executive and then Jason whips out a baseball and chucks it
23) Matt (or Jason) becomes severely depressed after noticing that their pet mouse is depressed (or so Matt/Jason think…). So Jason (or Matt) has to try to nurse the other back to good mental health.
24) Matt or Jason goes on strike after the other won’t fulfill their duties (cleaning, etc…) in their apartment. [Other ideas, besides not doing anything (such as sabotaging the other person’s things) need to be added]
25) Matt’s or Jason’s parents want to put them up for adoption, despite the fact they’re legally adults, because they simply don’t want them around for holidays and other family events anymore. (Cheaper than a restraining order).
26) Rather than sleepwalking, Matt or Jason sleep_______s. Preferably this should be something difficult to do, even when awake.
27) Matt and Jason have an employee that only uses high technology in his place, so he installs a clapper on every outlet, and everything is just turning on and off when people talk and shit
28) Matt and Jason order all the appliances they need for their office building and apartment from their own company, at full price. It is also how they decide what their company produces.
29) There’s a guy who works at the office who corrects everything wrong with anything someone says whenever he’s around
30) Episode that takes place as either Matt or Jason’s dream (could use this idea for the episode with the haunted apartment/office)
31) Some type of office pet who’s either always eating stuff or shitting everywhere.
32) Matt is in bathroom crapping when his client comes to the office, we instruct the client to simply meet matt in the bathroom and to sit in the adjacent stall, while matt is mid shit he is always handing paperwork under the stall for the client to sign, and then he yells ‘can someone get my laptop!’.
33) Either at the end of the first episode or a few episodes in after doing lots of little work and chores for Jason at the company Matt says “so you think I can get a job here?”
34) Matt or Jason has acquired an odd sense of taste, to say the least, eating exotic animals or really weird combinations of foods which he brings to eat at the office. In one episode he can have different employees try it and afterwards tell them what it was.
35) Jason and Matt goto a strip club with a bag full of sackajaweeas, and pay the strippers in dollar coins, as they dance coins are flying everywhere off them because they are so heavy.
36) A very earthy employee spends five minutes cleaning out her yogurt container before throwing it away. Then Jason enters spilling a soda and “cleans” it up using 20 sheets of paper, smearing it all over the floor, then wastefully deposits the trash into multiple trash bags and chucks them outside towards the dump, many of which entirely miss. Meanwhile Matt pulls up throwing fast food containers out his car window and gets soda all over Jason, then whips out a roll of paper towels and throws them at Jason to clean himself up with.
37) There is an employee that’s always eating vitamins and one day he’s hospitalized for overdosing. A fellow employee lets us know he was rushed to the hospital after clogging the toilet with his piss.
38) There is an employee who comes to work covered in sweat wearing a bike helmet and biker shoes and carrying his bike and we have a shot of him from the office window leaving work and putting the bike in the trunk of his car as he leaves.
39) There is an employee that frequently has good ideas for the company but nobody is EVER listening to him. Nobody notices him. He is also frequently sitting in a room where private information and conversations are being held but everyone fails to notice he’s there.
40) Matt notices Jason has been having an online affair when he stumbles upon some instant messages he’s left on his computer with someone called “BeachBabe47,” only to later realize that’s Jason’s screen name.
41) Matt convinces multiple girls he is responsible for crafting all new hit tv-shows music, and has been giving a contract to play the flute for nickelodeon for five years in any movie or show they produce.
42) Matt meets a girl that wears LA Gears and talks about her leaving them on during sex.
43) Matt and Jason are in a 6 hour meeting with a client who keeps (what sounds to be) sneezing, however at the end of the 6 hour meeting the client flips out and says that he has a cough, and they he hasn’t sneezed the entire meeting, but we keep saying ‘bless you’. At the end of the meeting he really does sneeze on the accountants abacus and messes up the finances and budgets.
44) Matt and Jason reveal another employees scheme of whenever she has to fart she quickly prints something to mask the sound. Once this is revealed and Jason says to the girl, “you sure are printing a lot of stuff this morning” she replies with, “yeah, i had a big breakfast (or a lot of coffee)”
45) Someone is always buying stock in something popular because everyone is talking about it (awkward scene where matt receives no laughs).
46) One of us claims to have a 4-some, and the other says ‘a foursome doesn’t count just because you have a mirror in your room’
47) Jason’s little sister is interning at the start-up company and has a crush on Uday. Everytime she sees his (blurred) face she exclaims “he’s so handsome.” Jason and Matt take advantage of her and she basically runs the company.
48) Jason keeps finding crap and chewed up paperwork all over the office. After a while Jason enters Matt’s office to find him with a mouse he has named Colonel Tumbleweed and refuses to get rid of. To make up for the damages Matt offers to do extra work around the office which he secretly delegates to Jason’s little sister.
49) Our office technician will always be eating onions like apples, and talking really close to peoples faces and spilling pieces of onion on peoples desk and keyboards.
50) We are both driving, and Jason purposely runs a red light to save time. At the next stop light when they are sitting a car of people pull up next to us and yell ‘YOU RAN A RED LIGHT!!!’ and Jason rolls down the window, leans over matt and calmy says ‘Yeah i know…’
51) One of us should be really lazy whenever we drink any liquids, so 1 out of every 2 gulps always goes down the wrong pipe and we end up choking up water everywhere.
52) Matt always gets on Jason for bringing up his “old girlfriend.” Matt explains to him that it’s technically his “ex-girlfriend,” a term Jason does not like. He constantly brings this girl up when telling stories and Matt has to correct him with “ex-girlfriend” all the time…does this sound too much like “assistant TO the regional manager”?
53) Either Matt or Jason has a lot of trouble understanding directions. When someone gives them directions, they repeat back how they understand the assignment, which is wrong. Then it is re-explained, and once again misunderstood. RESULT: either the one giving directions decides to just perform the task OR they figure out how to get it done their own way.
54) Matt and Jason make New Year resolutions. Could be in the first episode.
